Swinger Parties: A Guide for Beginners

Swinging, also known as partner swapping, is a non-monogamous behavior in which both singles and partners in a committed relationship engage in sexual activities with others as a recreational or social activity. Swinger parties are gatherings where swingers meet to explore this lifestyle. If you're curious about trying a swinger party, this guide covers what they are, etiquette tips, what to expect, and how to get started safely.

What is a Swinger Party?

A swinger party is an event where swingers gather in a private venue, usually someone’s home or a club, to meet other like-minded individuals and couples for sexy fun and exploration. The atmosphere is sexually charged but also friendly and relaxed. Swinger parties can range from intimate gatherings of a dozen or so people to larger parties of 50 or more. The party may be themed around something provocative and usually involves dancing, mingling, and flirting. As the night goes on, guests often engage sexually with others through exhibitionism or by swapping partners. Some common swinger party activities include:

• Socializing and Dancing - Guests get to know one another first and comfortable before anything sexual happens. Themed outfits and drinking help create a fun, sexy vibe.
• Soft Swapping - Kissing, touching, giving oral sex to someone other than your partner. This is a common way to ease into swapping.
• Full Swapping - Having penetrative sex with someone other than your primary partner. Some couples only soft swap, while others go all the way.
• Group Sex - Threesomes, moresomes, and double penetration. Group rooms are set up for guests who want to play.
• Voyeurism/Exhibitionism - Watching others have sex or being watched by others. Glory holes, sex swings, and toys add to the excitement.

Swinger Party Etiquette

Swinger parties may seem like a free-for-all, but there are some unspoken rules of etiquette that help make these events fun and comfortable for everyone. Here are some tips for proper swinger party behavior:

• Arrive on time - Latecomers can disrupt the flow once things get going. Arrive early to mingle.
• Groom yourself - Dress attractively, trim body hair, brush teeth, wear deodorant and perfume/cologne. Good hygiene shows respect for others.
• Bring your own supplies - Bring condoms, lubes, sex toys, towels, condoms, and anything else you'll need. Better to have and not need!
• Keep it classy - Don't get sloppy drunk or aggressively push others into anything. Be flirtatious but also respect boundaries.
• Ask before touching - Consent is mandatory, even in a swinger environment. Don't assume anything.
• Take "No" graciously - If someone declines an invitation to play, accept it politely and move on. Do not pressure people.
• Clean up - Whether you had sex or not, place used towels and trash in designated bins before leaving.

What to Expect at a Swinger Party

If you’ve never attended a swinger party before, you probably have some questions about what actually goes on and what to expect. Here are some common elements of the swinger party experience:

• Icebreaker games - The host may have some sexy games people play to get acquainted at the start of the party.
• Tour of the facilities - The host will often show guests around the venue, pointing out different rooms and areas for socializing vs. sexual play.
• Changing room - A space where guests can change into sexy outfits and costumes for the night. Lockers may be provided for storing valuables.
• Playrooms - Designated rooms with mattresses, furniture, condoms, towels, and toys for guests to engage in sexual play. May have viewing windows or doors.
• Group play - It’s up to guests whether they want to play as couples, in threesomes, etc. The party will provide ample opportunities to explore.
• Voyeurism - Watching others have sex is part of the appeal. There may be private or open viewing areas for guests not participating.
• Safe sex - Condoms, dental dams, and birth control are encouraged. The hosts should provide protection.
• Aftercare area - An area with refreshments and clean towels for guests once playtime is over.

Overall, swinger parties tend to have a sexually charged but social atmosphere. Participants can engage as much or as little as they like. Respecting others’ boundaries is paramount.

Getting Started in the Swinger Lifestyle

If you’re intrigued about trying the swinger lifestyle, here are some tips for getting started:

• Talk it out - Have honest and unjudged discussions with your partner first about boundaries, jealousy issues, rules, and mutual desires.
• Explore online - Join swinger dating sites, forums, podcasts, and blogs to learn more about the lifestyle. Kasidie, SwingLifestyle, and Reddit are popular resources.
• Attend a club - Try going to a swinger club first to dip your toe in by just watching or soft swapping. Seeing the environment can help make up your mind.
• Start slow - Work your way up from light activities like soft swapping or simply being in the same room as another couple before progressing to full swapping.
• Use protection - Bring and properly use condoms, dental dams, Prep medication, birth control, etc. Guard against STIs and pregnancy.
• Keep communicating - Check in with your partner during and after each new experience. Adjust boundaries as needed.
• Have an exit plan - If either partner feels uncomfortable at any point, respectfully exit the situation. Don't force anything.
• Don't be pushy - Accept others' boundaries. Swinging only works when all participants are enthusiastic consenting adults.
• Have fun! - Approach the lifestyle with an open mind and sense of adventure.

Swinger parties offer couples and singles an exciting way to intimately explore their sexuality. But the lifestyle is not for everyone. Take it slow, communicate, respect others, and find out if sharing partners is right for you.